For some reason, today has been a little rough. I have felt "fat" ALL day and have been very negative to myself. I just want to eat candy and cookies and cake. I have not given in to those emotions today so far and I am proud of that. Yesterday I talked about Binge Eating Disorder. Today, I was really working hard to convince myself that I DESERVED giving in, junk would make me feel better. I know this may sound really silly to some of you, but some of you know exactly what I am talking about. I started my Facebook page and my blog for 2 reasons:
1. to have a place to express how I am feeling and record my journey
2. to maybe inspire others and help them know they are not alone.
So today, I am being really open and sharing the little conversation I had with myself after lunch today:
Kari, you are feeling icky and fat today. Your fingers are swollen and your tummy really shows in that shirt. You need some chocolate!
Kari, you don't NEED chocolate, you WANT chocolate. Tomorrow is weigh-in day and you have had a good week.
Okay, I know tomorrow is weigh-in day. You weighed last night and were up a little, remember. So maybe you should just skip weigh-in tomorrow and binge today. You can "fake" not feeling good.
NO, I should not have weighed in last night. I will NOT skip my weigh-in. I will just write on Facebook that I am struggling.
HA, you do that and you will lose likes. Nobody cares, just eat the chocolate and you will feel better. You have physical therapy and you can sneak in some chocolate after that and NO ONE will know.
I posted on Facebook, and I did lose likes. But I am more than a number. I WILL NOT give in. I will know if I sneak the food and that is what really matters. I will go to therapy and then treat myself to a skinny latte at Starbucks.
So I know this is kooky, but I really did try to convince myself to give in. I did lose a few likes, but some people can't handle the brutal honesty. SO MANY of you responded with love and inspiration and I thank you for those of you that stick with me during the good times and the hard times. I WILL weigh-in tomorrow and I WILL be okay with what the scale says.
WHEW, what a load off. And I am so excited to share this Wowzer Wednesday story with you today. It was a blessing that she shared the words she did today as I really needed to read them. I hope Kathryn inspires you like she does me!
My name is Kathryn and I just recently turned 45 years old. I've spent my entire life overweight. I've ALWAYS been 25-50 lbs over. I had a comfortable weight that I stayed at most often, which was about 30 pounds overweight. I was even born at 9lbs 8ozs. I spent my life convincing myself that i was "big boned"... Turns out, I'm NOT... at all. I have been diabetic since I was 37. In my case it is genetic and not weight induced, however it was only getting worse. At the time I decided to take control, I was on 3 different medications to control my disease and doing little else about it. In April of 2013, I met with a diabetic dietitian at the suggestion of my endocrinologist. This lady was a godsend. She was the first professional to EVER tell me that I needed to lose weight. She summed me up perfectly by telling me that I was confident, self assured, my weight had never been a barrier to me getting a job, a man, etc..... but that I was STILL overweight. She said she wanted me to lose 25 pounds. I didn't do anything about it for about 2 months. On June 28, 2013, I woke up, looked in a full length mirror, snapped a photo and got mad.... I realized I was only getting bigger, I never exercised and I would die much earlier than need be if I didn't get my diabetes under control. I went to the gym that very day and I've never looked back. I've lost just short of 30 pounds and over 38 inches, going from a size 12 to a size 6. I have never taken a diet pill, drank a diet shake, used a wrap or any other unnatural method. I have been successful in changing my body by changing my mind. I now exercise 5-6 days a week and have fallen in love with fitness. I eat a healthy diet that is 80% clean... I eat lean meats, dairy, grains, fruits and veggies. I have not eliminated any food group. I watch my calories.... for me, 1600-1900 a day.... and sugar. I do a treat meal every couple of weeks. Last May, I couldn't run 100 yards, I can now run almost 4 and just this week, I deadlifted 160 lbs, slightly more than my bodyweight. I can now do push ups on my toes and hold a plank for 5 minutes, up from 20 SECONDS. My life is so much better now simply because I feel strong and healthy..... My doctor has eliminated all but one of my diabetic medications She has also moved me from the overweight category to healthy weight.... THAT felt amazing. I have SOOOOO much more energy and all the weird aches and pains I used to have no longer exists. Now when I'm sore, I know why.... exercise! I'm never going back! Never give up.... when you fall, and you will, be kind to yourself and get right back on track. I cannot stress enough how important exercise is. Find something that YOU enjoy... For me, that's running and weight lifting... for you it might be walking, yoga, swimming, etc.... Move your body EVERY single day... watch your portion sizes..... but be sure to eat enough. 1200 calories is NOT enough for most people to be able to maintain long term. I never feel deprived. I feel empowered with every healthy choice I make. Never give up. It is a journey, not a marathon. Do not weigh every day. Weekly is more than enough. Take measurements so that you can still see progress when the scale doesn't budge. And, yes, there WILL be those times when it doesn't but just keep trusting the process and understand that you didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight either....Drink water. Believe in yourself. You. Can. Do. It.
You can follow Kathryn at www.facebook.com/myjourneyjustforthehealthofit
1/2 cup quick oats - 4 points+
2 tsp canola oil - 2 points+
1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar - 1 point+
1/8 cup sugar free syrup - 0 points+
Yoplait strawberry Greek yogurt - 2 points+
banana - 0 points+
black coffee - 0 points+
grilled chicken salad with fat free Italian dressing - 8 points+
2 cuties - 0 points+
Skinny Cow peanut butter candy - 4 points+
black coffee - 0 points+
Plans changed on my dinner last night Family wanted to go to the last pizza buffet (special occasion in February)
salad with all veggies, a few sunflower seeds, and fat free catalina - 2 points+
2 pieces of veggie pizza - 10 points+
cheesy bread - 5 points+
light pumpkin ice cream - 5 points+
mini chocolate chips - 2 points+
Used 45 out of 46 points!
That is it for today! Tune in tomorrow for weigh-in results, good or bad. Sending you all love and healthy wishes!
Keep Losing,
Kari
dont anyones dislikes discourage you, if they can't handle there are ups and downs on this type of journey then they arent really ready. we aren't perfect, and even tho we put our stories out there to help others we can't only post the good we have to share the whole story or people will get the wrong idea
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