What if, what if, what if!

One of the reasons I hate being heavy is the fear of not being able to do something.  It really sucks to not think you can fit in a sit, ride a ride at an amusement park, etc.  I hate that feeling.  I feel like I have missed on so many things in my life because I was even afraid to try.  I am even nervous to meet new people because I am afraid they will not like me because I am “fat.” This is really not an easy thing to admit, but I think a lot of overweight people experience this.  We feel judged solely on our outward appearance (even though that may not be the case).  Self-confidence is so low and it is hard to get over that.  I don’t necessarily fail, because I am too afraid to even try.  I don’t know if I will ever get over it completely, but I am working on it slowly.  Yesterday, my oldest son and I rode our bikes from our house to the small town about 4 miles south of us.  I was not sure I could make it that far.  It about killed me, but when I pulled into my friends’ house in town, I was so proud of myself.  I tried something new and did not fail! Today we are going boating with some friends.  I am so excited, but a bit fearful as well.  What ifs are running through my head.  What if I get in the water to swim and can’t get back in the boat, what if people judge me in my swimsuit, what if, what if, what if.  But my fear will not keep me from having a good time today.  I know my friends and family like me for me and will not judge me for trying even if I do fail!

I am anxious about Thursday’s weigh-in.  I really want to lose at least 2.2 so I can be at my 72 pound goal before heading to Florida on Saturday.  We will see!  I am also a little anxious about vacation.  More what ifs! What if I can’t stay on plan, what if people judge me, what if I get sun poisoning again.  I really need to stop that thinking.  However, my goal is to face those fears and enjoy myself!

Better get ready for a fun day on the lake!  Hope your day is awesome as well!

Keep Losing,

Kari