Feeling like a failure and trying to get over it!

Today has been a rough day so far.  I made a mistake at work due to not being able to see something.  I got all emotional and upset, even though I was able to correct it.  I felt like such a failure.  All I wanted to do was go eat.  I started thinking about all the junk I could eat that would make me feel better (at least so I thought). So hubby and I left the office and picked up the boys.  We went to lunch, where I ate soup and salad, and one slice of banana bread.  I needed to get out of the office.  I couldn’t concentrate and needed a change of scenery.  When we got home, I lay down during the storm and took a rest.  I am feeling much better now.  I made myself a hot green tea and am eating a baked oatmeal square as I write this.  I am very proud of myself for not giving in to the urge to emotional eat.  That is such a tough thing for me.  I have such low self-esteem and for some reason my brain thinks food will make it better.  I bet even when I am at my goal weight I will struggle with the emotional aspect of food.  Some days are really hard, but I am committed to staying focused.

 I have done weight watchers so many different times, I cannot remember how many.  The most I ever lost at a time was 60 pounds.  I have already passed that this time and I plan to keep going.  It feels different this time.  I still struggle and there are still hard days, but eating healthy and exercising has become a routine for me.  I want to make this my lifestyle forever, not just until I get to goal.  Writing this blog really helps me.  Writing here keeps me honest and accountable.  Reading your comments is encouraging.  Seeing other people inspired by what I am doing is such a boost to how I feel about myself. 

Sorry I rambled today, but I feel better getting words out!

Keep Losing,

Kari