Thursday Weigh-In and a Reality Check

Today was weigh-in day and it started off kinda rough. I woke up with a terrible migraine and felt awful. Still hurting, but managed to go to my meeting today. I was up 0.8 pounds. In the past, this would have destroyed me! I would have left and not stayed for the meeting and cried for an hour. Today I am actually not that upset. I am learning that this is a journey, it will take time to lose 247 pounds. The scale is not the only definition of success. In my progress pic I posted Tuesday, I was wearing a shirt that was a size 18/20. 11 months ago I was wearing a 32/34. I had to buy new jammy pants today because mine kept falling down. And the best ever is all the kind comments and messages I am getting through this page. People have been inspired by what I am doing and I am inspired by them. I started this blog and my Facebook page for my friends and family and it has grown so beyond what I could ever imagine. More than 600 people follow me on Facebook, that is 600 people I can impact simply be being open and honest about my journey!!!

So this morning I was watching Extreme Weight Loss and I was just overcome with emotions with this episode. There was a set of twins, a brother and a sister. I felt so connected to them. I think I cried the entire episode. The reality of being morbidly obese is just overwhelming. All the things you are not able to do because of your weight and just not feeling like doing anything. I was good at hiding my misery. I put on a happy face, but I was far from happy. It is not necessarily about my outward appearance, but the emotional restrictions I placed on myself. Things are hard when you are overweight. People are not nice! I was (and still am ) so self conscious. I am always worried people are talking about how "fat" I am. I am slowly learning to love myself where I am right now. If I don't love myself, I will fail at this journey. I am worth it, I am something. Example, I was invited to a Mary Kay spa party tomorrow evening. I don't want to go and be the "fat" one there. I am so nervous that I won't fit in, or that I am not good enough for a "spa" party, all the other girls are younger, skinnier, prettier. I AM going and I will have fun. I have to battle these negative emotions everyday. It is hard to admit this and write these words, but my hope is to help other people who deal with the same things.

A couple ladies at Weight Watchers today were looking at my progress pic and they told me how proud they are of me (they are all at Lifetime). The also said they were so afraid that I was going to quit. I told them I had quit many many times before but for some reason this time feels different. They said they will be my own personal cheering squad!! Made me so happy!! :)

Well, I am gonna go for now. I LOVE all of you and thank you for the tremendous support you all give me!!!!

Keep Losing,
Kari