I had read an article Wednesday in a magazine while waiting on my nephew at the doctor about a 12 year old girl who jumped off of a water tower in Florida because she had been bullied. I know this is an older story, but the magazine had also interviewed one of the young girls who had been arrested for bullying her to death. The story was just heart wrenching. I just kept thinking about it and then this morning the above quote popped up on my Facebook feed.
It really made me think! I am so mean and hard on myself. I'm bullying myself everyday when I don't live up to some made up standards I have set for myself. I had skimmed through another magazine that day that was FILLED with images of what society considers a "perfect" body. It made me so sad that we women (and some men) are trying to compare ourselves with a photoshopped, airbrushed image. I struggle everyday with loving myself and dealing with social anxiety. I'm constantly worried about what everyone around me is thinking or saying about me (even though it is probably nothing).
I have to learn to love myself NOW, in the body I have today. That doesn't mean I can't continue to strive to be healthy, but what is skinny or a 1** number on a scale if I still don't like who I am. I took a step today and cut my hair off! I had shorter hair when I was younger and I loved it. I decided I really don't care if anyone else likes it, or thinks it is boyish. I just want to be comfortable in my body! So here it is, no makeup or any filters:
I also had a check-up with my family doctor today. Still working on getting my vitamin D up and he increased my dose for my anxiety medication.
I even got my nails done and hit up a thrift store! I scored a pair of dress pants and shoes, 5 pairs of shorts, and 2 nice polos for the boys and only spent $21!
I am heading to Phoenix on June 3 for the Plexus convention and they are having an 80's party one evening. 75% of me says I'm not attending, but the other 25% is figuring out what to wear (hence the trip to the thrift store). I really want to go, but I'm just so self conscious. So stay tuned for updates!
I think I did more today than I gave since my surgery 3 weeks ago. My foot is sore and swollen. So now I'm heading to bed, diffusing some lavender oil and curling up with a good book!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Sending you all love and healthy wishes!
Keep Losing,
Kari
Your blog is so inspiring! Great lesson for us all! We need to quit bullying ourselves!
ReplyDeleteI love the hair! I've been thinking of cutting my hair, too.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of it as "bullying myself". Such an eye opener! Definitely go to the 80s party! I have attended a couple of them and had a lot of fun. I even got Brian to dress in his 80s finest.;-) Sounds like you had some great thrift store bargains. Love getting a great deal at the thrift stores!
ReplyDeleteCynthia Rainey